ryanstice

Its been a while since I've been on here. I guess i just need a place to journal and vent my thoughts. with my line of work (i'm an assistant store manager at McDonald's) a lot of venting is required. Live Journal was always so much easier than writing in a physical journal, its also nice to share my thoughts with someone else, who ever else. I've never understood the point in writing or expressing anything that no one would ever read, know about, or hear, so here i am.

I recently had a dream about a girl i used to know. Well know isnt exactly the right word for it, love is a much better word for it, for a girl i used to love. At least i thought the "used to" part still applied. Maybe its the dream, maybe its still there, but this dream brought back so many of those memories and feelings. I think I'm realizing that i never stopped loving her. Its a sad story that i wont bug you with now, but lets just say that we, at least as far i feel, both loved each other. Unfortunately it was at different times. I should have said something sooner, we both made mistakes and wound up being the best of friends. Friends who you drive 15 miles at three in the morning just because she needs a shoulder to cry on or a hug, for. I really miss her, more than i can express really and it's really hard knowing that what we could have had would have been so great. Maybe its just me romanticizing it, but a love that changes who you are, re-defines who and what you want to be. I love, and am still in love with you Sammy.